Not with out fear

My excitement on my upcoming birth can not be over shadowed or for that matter demolished. The idea of getting to have control over my birth process with out being told what I have to do, need to do or should do over joys me. To have people there who are experienced in the type of birth I want with out interventions is amazing! Were you aware that the majority of Nurses have never witnessed a completely natural birth meaning, no induction, no pitocen to speed labor up, no rupturing water, and so on. The statistics are something like less than 10% of nurses. That seems so crazy that the people that are supposed to be there to help you have a healthy natural birth have never even seen one themselves! What seems even crazier to me it the rates for OB's are not much better! They are the doctors that go to medical school for this very reason so how is it that the majority of them have never seen one! I don't even remember the number of articles I looked up because I could not belive it! Then come to find out that OB or OB/GYN are not necessarily trained for a natural birth they are actually trained surgeons meaning their training is more focused on the interventions than how to avoid them which is wonderful they these very amazingly skilled professionals are there for when those interventions are needed but what about when they are not. Most doctors or nurses will tell you well that is because that is what the woman wanted....come on. I have had 2 babies in a hospital do you know how many time I was asked vs. the amount of times I was told. The first nurse to ever tell me I had an option in my care was the last nurse on the day I had Aiden. She came and to give me a shot for gas in my stomach and jokingly I said do I have to, and she pulled back and told me no i did not want it I did not have to have it. For the first time I took control of my body and my medical care!

I am not with out fear. To say the least I am terrified for all the exact same reasons people around Cameron and I seem to have fear. I am scared of what happens if my uterus ruptures but then I know the statistics 27 in 10,000 VBACs end in a uterus rupture the chances of that happening are so low. You might say but so are the chances of being struck by lighting, or winning the lottery but also in research I have learned that response time for an emergency C-section for a HBAC and a hospital birth is really a matter or milliseconds. Also the chances of a mother or infant fatality in a home birth is almost half of what it is in a hospital birth because of the interventions, want to argue with me look it up first because I have many articles and medical journals to support my argument. Another issue that has been brought up and sparks fear in me is the amount of pain and my very very low pain tolerance. I have no argument for that. But a very good friend of ours, the god mother of our children, the person who is going to be my doula, and who is also married to some one who went to medical school put it into amazing perspective for me. She told me "It is going to hurt like hell, no question, it is going to be awful but once it is done and you have your baby it is over." This made me stop and think about the weeks of pain from recovering from a major surgery and the fact that I will not have to endure that this time, I will be able to sneeze with out busting out in uncontrollable tears.

In the end there are many concerns to be addressed, there are many fears and many reasons for those fears. But for every one of those fears I can give a reason or an argument that I feel better about my home birth than another major surgery. I could give my list of reasons but in the end they are my reasons and they are very personal and private. I am glad to be loved. I am glad to have people concerned about my baby and I. I would not go into this amazing experience with out being as informed as I could possibly be. In the end no matter how prepared I am, or how prepared my midwife is, or how prepared the hospital is the final result is in Gods hands prepared or not no one knows exactly how that day will go. But what I do know is for once I will be the one in the drivers seat for the birth of my child! I am not with out fear, but my excitement overcomes my fear!